Dealing with anger effectively...

These excerpts from a book Getting Over Getting Mad: Positive ways to Manage Anger, are really good:

"It seems that there are chronically angry people everywhere... They act as though life comes with guarantees, and when something doesn't suit them, they sue.

"Some people like being mad. It makes them feel powerful and in control. If they stopped being angry, they might be sad, in emotional pain, afraid or full of despair, and since they don't like feeling vulnerable they carry a chip on their shoulder. The most dangerous people are the ones who don't even know they're angry yet are very hostile. They no longer recognize angry feelings; they life in a permanent state of uproar.

Uproar is a way of making one's own concerns more important than anyone else's. It's the angry person's syndrome. An angry person imagines an insult and immediately hurls insults right back. They overpower others with threats and loud voices.

When my clients who are in a permanent state of uproar speak about themselves, practically every other word they use in should. "I should do this," or "he should do that." When the messages you give yourself are filled with shoulds, you're bound to feel upset. Looking at life from a point of view of "should" will not help you--it will only make you feel angry because you'll so often be disappointed. Can't and have to are two other thought-forms that cripple us and lead to uproar.

To move out of uproar, it helps if you change what you're thinking and saying... To extricate yourself from uproar, you need friends, people whom you can really talk to, who've been there themselves and are ready to share how they have overcome destructive tendencies.... The greatest friend you can have is one who understands your pain and angry but doesn't let you become a permanent victim of it. He pulls you out of the muck, stops your incessant complaining. He tells you the truth and demands the same from you. She asks you to drop the hostility and replace it with goodwill. She brings out the best in you."

Of course, you could always eat a turquoise blue popscicle and make a Grrrrr face like the faux-angry gal above!

I think we all deal with anger but this author really hits it dead on with this page and many others in how to deal with your anger instead of letting it suck the life out of you--or others around you. This was very helpful to me.

All for now,
Tricia