Last Friday brought about yet another round of "say it isn't so!" for our little family. Poor John developed a kidney stone yet again. And when this guy has one, they aren't just "stones passing in the night" (sorry, poor pun); John goes through days of extreme pain while the doctors/technicians haggle over whether the stone is large enough for a lithotripsy, surgery, what-have-you. Why they don't ask the one suffering? I say! This is John's fifth or sixth stone--and when I see the pain on his face, I feel so bad for him.
The last few weeks and months have been particularly trying for our household. It has not been necessarily "one thing." Just an accumulation of trials that have brought us to our knees. I thought I was holding it pretty well together (with God's help), and even doing a fair job of hiding the stress.
Apparently not.
The night we came home from the ER, we were absolutely beaten down. I tried to keep up a semi-brave face for my girlie, but realize the day's events must have been written all over my--and John's--faces.
When I went into Hannah's room for love, worship and bedtime prayers, I could tell something was wrong. Fearing I'd somehow been short with her because of my exhaustion, I asked her what was wrong. At first she denied anything, but then, as I knelt down, she finally answered:
"I just feel so bad for you and Daddy," she said. Two big tears fell down her cheeks. "You guys have had the worst luck lately. Why do bad things keep happening to us? I feel like we're so alone in our problems."
My sentiments exactly. I have to admit, I'd been asking God the same thing. Oh, I don't talk about our struggles much on this blog. No matter how a person spins it, when writing about troubles in life, invariably it sounds like whining or complaining. So I haven't. Up till now.
Finances, poor health, unskilled veterinarians, breaking down cars--all spell disaster. Who wants to read about disaster? I don't!
But maybe I need to share at least a little about the troubles. Because if I share about them, I must share about the strength God gives us, the endurance, to get through each day. If I share about the financial woes, I must also give testimony to just-as-we-need-them provisions.
The same goes for health, car trouble and more. For each time something goes wrong, Someone makes sure to make something very right. An unexpected check in the mail...a better veterinarian with a less costly guinea piggy diagnosis...a mechanic who has our best interest at heart and gives rides home again and again when we face the prospect of extreme heat beating us down on a long walk home.
Problems? Oh me, oh my! More than I care to admit. But for every problem, God has given us a solution. For every time our bank account is running precariously low, God has sent food, money, or work--just when we need them most.
So how did I answer my precious lamb?
Thinking of the ever-possible teachable moments (only by His help), I told her that the Devil is very real. He doesn't like it when we are following after God, when we are trying to obey His will. We read from her Bible that Satan is depicted in the book of Peter as a "roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour" (1 Peter 5:8, 9). The text goes on to say, "Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings..."
In comforting Hannah, I could not deny the comfort my heavenly Father provides me, day in, day out. Through His Bible, through a friend, or a sermon, He reveals His truth of "I will never leave you nor forsake you" again and again.
I praise Him. I love Him. I share my testimony in love.
Tricia
p.s. John goes to his urologist Wednesday. If the doctor does not reach a firm decision on his own, I will personally wrestle the man down to the ground and "help" him reach a decision in great haste! ha!
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