No More Pity Parties by Tricia Williams

No more pity parties for myself. That’s what I determined when my friend, and pastor, Gayle told this story at our women’s Bible study last week:

Recently Gayle had gone to visit and pray with a family who lost their three-year-old daughter to a tragic accident. While they were talking, the mother of that girl said they were letting a friend stay at their home for a while, that he was going through a difficult divorce. She looked at Gayle and said, “I just feel so bad for him. Don’t you feel so sorry for those people for whom bad things keep happening to them?”

Gayle swallowed hard and looked at this woman full in the face. Sure enough, the woman meant what she said about her guest. And yet, as Gayle said to us in awe, “she didn’t see herself in that category! She had just lost her precious baby girl, and yet still had empathy, compassion and concern for another hurting person. I was awestruck.”

I’ve thought a lot about this exchange the last several days. I think about my friend who is going through treatments for cancer. I think about the young mother who is struggling with a debilitating post-partum depression. I think about another Bible study member of my group who, as a senior citizen, works at her job of manual labor while two troubled knees make it difficult to walk, and is in pain throughout most of her days.

Could I have that sort of care and concern for others? Do I live my life with determination to make someone else’s day a little sweeter or less difficult, with a smile or a kind word? I hope so. My recent surgery was a wakeup call in my life. I didn’t like feeling dependent on other people for driving or carrying things. Feeling weak and helpless, I became discouraged. I think about those for whom this is a way of life, those in chronic pain, or who have a terminal illness. Where is their hope? Where can they find joy?

The same place I can—the same place you can: in Jesus. As a child, I used to sing “The joy of the Lord is my strength,” but never really understood the truth in that simple statement. If I can have real joy, even in the storms of life, it’s because of Him. He makes it so. He also provides the empathy in our hearts to care for one another if we ourselves are feeling low.

He reaches down and lifts us up. And as He is our example, I must learn to do the same. So this week, month, this year, I will reach out to others—a phone call, a card, a quick hug and a prayer—and share with them the joy of the Lord, so that it might be their strength too.